Now do not get me wrong, I enjoyed school in my youth I mean why not? Elementary was awesome, we got to play with glue and throw dodge balls at other kids, junior high was not so awesome (add head gear and spiderman glasses to a geeky thirteen year old to understand why) but gives way for funny recollections, and high school came and went so quickly it was gone when I blinked my eyes. But somewhere within those thirteen years that flew by I was supposed to decide what and who I wanted to be. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.
Everyone else seemed to have a plan, a map to guide them on their path. Me? I was still up on cloud nine wishing I could eat glue and wear spider man glasses. The reality of my situation was I liked too many things that did not scream career, health benefits, or supporting a family.
My trouble was that I enjoy writing, but not research essays, I love creative writing, and I mean love creative writing. Painting has become a form of meditation for me but I do not like to feel the pressure of creating something outstanding. I like going to dance class and learning how to scottish tenor drum. I live for attending hot yoga on Friday nights and sweating in places I didn't even know existed! Spending time with my family and friends is truly one of my favourite things to do. But the trouble is, I also enjoy reading and being an active and present learner. I like to, and do ask a lot of questions because I enjoy the truth of finding an answer. So when it came to applying to universities I found myself stuck in a tough spot because I am not a cookie cutter science student. I wanted to be an artist, a creator but was scared to allow my true passions to be my source of income. I did not fit the mould as easily as my friends around me. But one thing that I have learned from university is it is okay to not fit the mould.
University has taught me a lot about myself as an individual, it has pushed me and challenged me beyond my furthest imagination. I still struggle with the constant nagging ache of what will I do with my degree, who will I be, what can I do, who will I help? University can be my best friend and my worst nightmare depending on the day. My original incentive to go to university was because it felt like the next stage in life after graduating high school. University equals degree which equals job that equals money. I am still not convinced that university was a choice that I strongly decided upon or whether it was a choice that was subconsciously pressed upon me, I ask myself almost daily whether university is for me or not for me?
I am a starving student, but not in the aspect you would think. I still get fed and have money to buy food - courtesy of my mom's lovely cooking and from working my butt off last summer. But I am starving along the path of self discovery as I fight my way through the education system. The word student seems to insinuate that there is something to be learned or obtained, which is what I hope to accomplish at university. I want to find out who I am, but for now I am just a starving student.
Cheers,
Meagan
#school #university
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