From Hali to the Highlands

I am currently sitting in the comforts of my bedroom; listening to Alt-J, with twinkly lights on, and my cat snoozing at my feet. But instead of my mind finding relaxation within these comforts it is running a mile a minute.

In a little over two weeks I will be leaving these creature comforts I have grown so accustom to and will be diving into something completely foreign to me. I will be moving away from my hometown of Fall River, Nova Scotia (just outside of Halifax- kind of by the airport) and moving to Glasgow, Scotland (a huge city filled with people I do not know) for a semester abroad at Glasgow Caledonian University.

I have felt so many emotions over this past month as my departure date looms closer and closer. Beaming happiness, exploding with excitement, twitching with anxiety, sweet ecstasy, wanting to vomit, feeling the urge to dance a jig, great dragging sadness, overwhelming nerves, and the urge to curl into a bawl and jump into the air all at once. I know, it's surprising that my eye twitch which, usually emerges right around midterms and finals hasn't resurfaced yet (give it a week).

Many people over the course of a year have asked me so why Scotland? Doesn't it rain there (a lot so I've heard...), don't people have thick accents (I think so...) then why did you choose Scotland?! For which I smile and laugh a little as I try to explain how I have fallen in love with a country that I have never even been to before. I guess the best way to explain why Scotland, is written in the first sentence of my personalized Letter of Intent intended for Glasgow Caledonian University;

"When my mother enrolled me in Highland dancing at age seven I doubt she realized that she would instil a knowledge of discipline, passion for wearing a kilt, and the desire to travel the world on her bright blue-eyed daughter." 

Highland dancing has opened my eyes to the world of Scottish culture and the love of wearing a kilt. Through my love of highland dance I have been given opportunities to learn, grow, teach, perform, travel, and experience so many amazing opportunities, people, places, and things. Highland dance first turned me into a dancer, then a drummer, but even more importantly a dreamer, as I have discovered the endless possibilities the world offers.

Even as I sit here on my bed making a mental to-do list on top of to-do lists on top of the YOU REALLY NEED TO-DO THIS lists, I still can find comfort in the fact that I will be moving to a place that already feels like home. I guess even if I miss the people, places, familiar faces, comforts, and familiar routines in Nova Scotia I can find comfort in the fact that Scotland already feels like home. 

From Hali to the Highlands I will still be that dancer, drummer, and dreamer who had only dreamed of this amazing and thrilling life changing experience a year ago. 

Cheers,

Meagan 

Photographed by Sydney MacLennan

University Blues: For Me or Not For Me

I honestly do not know what drove me to become a university student. 

Now do not get me wrong, I enjoyed school in my youth I mean why not? Elementary was awesome, we got to play with glue and throw dodge balls at other kids, junior high was not so awesome (add head gear and spiderman glasses to a geeky thirteen year old to understand why) but gives way for funny recollections, and high school came and went so quickly it was gone when I blinked my eyes. But somewhere within those thirteen years that flew by I was supposed to decide what and who I wanted to be. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.

Everyone else seemed to have a plan, a map to guide them on their path. Me? I was still up on cloud nine wishing I could eat glue and wear spider man glasses. The reality of my situation was I liked too many things that did not scream career, health benefits, or supporting a family. 

My trouble was that I enjoy writing, but not research essays, I love creative writing, and I mean love creative writing. Painting has become a form of meditation for me but I do not like to feel the pressure of creating something outstanding. I like going to dance class and learning how to scottish tenor drum. I live for attending hot yoga on Friday nights and sweating in places I didn't even know existed! Spending time with my family and friends is truly one of my favourite things to do. But the trouble is, I also enjoy reading and being an active and present learner. I like to, and do ask a lot of questions because I enjoy the truth of finding an answer. So when it came to applying to universities I found myself stuck in a tough spot because I am not a cookie cutter science student. I wanted to be an artist, a creator but was scared to allow my true passions to be my source of income. I did not fit the mould as easily as my friends around me. But one thing that I have learned from university is it is okay to not fit the mould. 

University has taught me a lot about myself as an individual, it has pushed me and challenged me beyond my furthest imagination. I still struggle with the constant nagging ache of what will I do with my degree, who will I be, what can I do, who will I help? University can be my best friend and my worst nightmare depending on the day. My original incentive to go to university was because it felt like the next stage in life after graduating high school. University equals degree which equals job that equals money. I am still not convinced that university was a choice that I strongly decided upon or whether it was a choice that was subconsciously pressed upon me, I ask myself almost daily whether university is for me or not for me?

I am a starving student, but not in the aspect you would think. I still get fed and have money to buy food - courtesy of my mom's lovely cooking and from working my butt off last summer. But I am starving along the path of self discovery as I fight my way through the education system. The word student seems to insinuate that there is something to be learned or obtained, which is what I hope to accomplish at university. I want to find out who I am, but for now I am just a starving student.

Cheers,

Meagan